Dr. W., Sadie's contact lens doctor, has officially trained us twice in getting the contact lenses in and out. It's been, well, horrendous each time. Our little gal screams her head off the second Dr. W. comes close to her, even though she's an amazing and sweet woman. I tell her not to take it personally; I have a feeling she's been through that before! :)
Every time Joel and I have attempted to take out the contacts, I have lost my cool - I curse God, curse my husband, curse myself. I cry and start shaking from the sheer stress of it all. WHY IS IT RIGHT AND FAIR AND OK FOR ME TO BE PUTTING CONTACT LENSES IN MY THREE MONTH OLD?! Why is this happening to US?! Why must Sadie go through such struggles at her little innocent age?! I have not handled myself in the best way, and I'm ashamed of my reaction(s). Yet, who knew that God had this in store for me when we were trying desperately to add to our family?
All I can tell myself is that up in Heaven, there was this perfect little angel with one "minor" imperfection: her eyes needed help. God heard mine and Joel's prayers for a second child, and knowing that we'd do anything for our babies, granted us this truly remarkable baby girl who was destined for greatness. Along the way there would be some pitfalls, trials, and tribulations, but it would make us stronger in the long run.
I keep repeating my mantra - some days it sticks, most days it's a challenge to remember the positives. But temporarily, this is....well, the hardest thing Joel and I have ever faced. Please, God, be with us and help us to see your plan.
No comments:
Post a Comment